meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
