you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
