i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
