Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
