So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
