You can't motorboat a personality
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
