just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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