First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
