Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize