very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
