he puts the penis in happiness.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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