i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
