I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
