just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
