I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm passing your future prison.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
