So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
you never un-have a 4some
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize