how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
