I accidentally burped into my bong.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize