Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
