I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
