I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
