ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
