he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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