I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
