Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
How does one acquire holy water?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
