Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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