I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize