; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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