life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
