respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
