I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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