Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
