I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I want her autograph on my taint
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
