She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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