dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
