...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize