I just made out with a guy for $7.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
