That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize