You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
