Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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