Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
