Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Randomize
