I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
