Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
