Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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