no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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