4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
