why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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