The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
