I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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