Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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