420 ftw
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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