YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize