dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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