Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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