I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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