I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
