I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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