i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
