a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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