I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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