Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
