She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
