i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize